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“The universe never cooperates when you need it to.” – pg. 8

“Being an adult means not seeing every ‘no’ as a challenge.” – pg. 139

“Talent is a determining factor in all success stories. You cannot be talented at everything.” – pg. 39

“Comedy is like therapy after all.” – pg. 47

“Stay hungry and be patient. Good things were on the way, I just didn’t know what or when.” – pg. 100

“Random people you meet just might circle back into your life.” – pg. 163

“No amount of validation […] is going to make me feel complacent, slow down, or stop.” – pg. 236

“When I do interviews, people always ask, ‘What’s next for you?’ I have absolutely no idea. It’s best if you don’t know.” – pg. 287

“I’ll be fine if I have to go out in the world and spend a whole lot of time with myself.” – pg. 30

“Be a good person and good things will happen.” – pg. 44

“I realized I shouldn’t worry about comparing my road to success with other people’s. It was important that I remember to follow my own path and what was for me was for me.” – pg. 90

“It wasn’t about [being rich and famous]. It was being good at the craft and having the respect of your peers that would keep you working.” – pg. 94

“So let’s root for each other and hope for the best. We can all chase the dream together. And that’s a beautiful thing.” – pg. 98

“I always had faith that one day things would turn over. […] I knew I’d be okay either way.” – pg. 130

“It’s important to celebrate the wins in life. You only get so many.” – pg. 145

“Love will happen again when I’m ready.” – pg. 166

“I feel so lucky to have had a front-row seat on one of the greatest shows in television history.” – pg. 216

“You always have to set new goals for yourself; otherwise, what’s the point of life?” – pg. 218

“It’s hard for a young person to lean into ambition. It feels unnatural […]. Ambition is what separates the dreamers from the doers.” – pg. 220

“The universe likes to give out hints. All you have to do is slow down for a minute and listen.” – pg. 220

“For me, it’s always a choice of wouldn’t it be funny if or isn’t it funny that.” – Mike Myers, pg. 49

“A sketch, if it’s a good sketch, should have a beginning, a middle, and an end, and it should have tremendous references that the audience really knows, so that you don’t have to work hard getting the laughs.” – Mel Brooks, pg. 65

“We humans love patterns. So, finding the pattern in the scene makes us happy.” – pg. 151

“We don’t do the show because it’s ready. We do it because it’s Saturday night.” – Lorne Michaels via Mike Birbiglia, pg. 184

“Some of them work. Most don’t. But if you just keep going, and keep making different things, some of them are gonna work. And that was enough for me.” – Bob Odenkirk, pg. 217

“I always wondered how people like stand-ups came up with characters, and I realized that you see characters every day.” – Kevin Nealon, pg. 230

“Sketch kind of is what it is because you have more of them, you have a handful of them. They are what they are in relation to each other, you know. This is a collection of ideas you’ve chosen to present. It’s like an album. […] You’ve got songs, but each song has to be a masterpiece unto itself. But, when you back up and look at the big picture, it’s gotta kinda make a different thing. Anyone can go anywhere for a funny piece of content right now. But watching them in conjunction with one another, and making them work in that way, is something special.” – Jordan Peele, pg. 288

“You know that point in your life where you realize the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have someplace where you can put your shit, that idea of home is gone. […] It’s like you feel homesick for a place that doesn’t even exist. […] Maybe that’s all a family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.”

“‘Excitement’ isn’t the word. I felt thrilled, vindicated, validated; my head spun with the possibility of actually making something of all this.” – pg. 98

“Songwriters […] draw you into a world they created and sustain your interest in the things that obsessed them.” – pg. 166

“You’re writing with no sure prospect of ever being heard.” – pg. 178

“And if somebody had to be the future, why not me?” – pg. 202

“[Bob] Dylan, of course, threaded through the imagery and the idea of not just writing about SOMETHING but writing about EVERYTHING.” – pg. 208

“If you want to burn bright, hard, and long […], you will need to develop some craft and a creative intelligence that will lead you farther when things get dicey.” – pg. 213

“My writing was focusing itself around identity issues – who am I, who are we, what and where is home, what constitutes manhood, adulthood, what are your freedoms and your responsibilities.” – pg. 216

“It’s a privilege to exchange smiles, soul and heart directly with the people in front of you.” – pg. 217

“What makes something great may also be one of its weaknesses, just like in people.” – pg. 222

“Get the fuck out of my mind and into my feet, my heart.” – pg. 228

“I know I’m good but I’m also a poser. That’s artistic balance!” – pg. 228

“I’ve learned you’ve got to pull up the things that mean something to you in order for them to mean anything to your audience.” – pg. 267

“No, you can’t tell people anything, you’ve got to show ’em.” – pg. 270

“Perhaps it’s the curse of the imaginative mind. Or perhaps it’s the ‘running’ in you. You simply can’t stop imagining other worlds, other loves, other places […]. That ‘possibility of everything’ is just ‘nothing’ dressed up in a monkey suit.” – pg. 274

“We all need a little of our madness.” – pg. 285

“All popular artists get caught between making records and making music. If you’re lucky, sometimes it’s the same thing.” – pg. 300

“You can blow your fortune, should you be lucky enough to obtain one, and make it back, damage your reputation and, with effort and dedication, often restore it. But time… time lost is gone for good.” – pg. 311

“You never completely control the arc of your career.” – pg. 324

“You never know what’s going to come out of your heart and find its way out of your mouth.” – pg. 495

“One of the biggest pitfalls you will encounter is your own complacency.” – pg. 199

“What you need to understand is that ‘having it all’ also means ‘maintaining it all.'” – pg. 250

“We are all just making this up as we go.” – pg. 287

“I would do anything for you, if convenient.”

“How, may I ask, did you get so you?”

“I wrote down the words that I needed to say but a wind came through and blew them away.”

“Just keep showing up.” – pg. 2

“Comedy was going to be the thing to keep me alive, even in times I’d be holding on by a thread.” – pg. 167

“I was still broke, but I was doing exactly what I wanted to do with my life and I had fucking tremendous friends, too. You can’t put a price tag on that.” – pg. 195

“Some people aren’t kid people and you have to walk them through this stuff.” – pg. 160

“Basements and parental happiness are integrally connected.” – pg. 200