Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me, by Chelsea’s Family, Friends, and Other Victims

“She is most dangerous when she’s bored or has a little free time and is looking to entertain herself.” – Johnny Kansas, pg. 2

“No matter how exotic the locale or romantic the setting, after ten days alone, two people run out of things to do and shit to say.” – Brad Wollack, pg. 120

“Go for the joke and then let shit sort itself out afterward. Not always a great trait but, at the very least, it’s entertaining.” – Josh Wolf, pg. 162

“You can tell someone is truly into practical jokes if they don’t need to be there when the payoff happens. Just the knowledge that it’s going to happen is enough for Chelsea.” – Josh Wolf, pg. 163

“I’ve often been told I don’t have much of a life, but the joke is on the people who say that to me, because the fact is I don’t. But at least I’m aware of it.” – Eva Magdalenski, pg. 198

“Chelsea loves all of the people who are close to her equally. That means nobody gets special treatment… and nobody is safe.” – Eva Magdalenski, pg. 211

“Chelsea Handler is a sharp cookie and has a beautifully bizarre brain. She may also be many things, but she is not a genius.” – Amy Meyer, pg. 229