Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler

“No one else I knew ever seemed to get themselves in the situations I did. I was officially thirty and wondered if there was an age when this kind of behavior should be curved.” – pg. 136

“It’s been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be.” – pg. 175

“[I wondered] why I agree to pick people up from the airport. It really is a ridiculous activity if you’re not sleeping with the person.” – pg. 207