“Why do you want to be liked, Sue?” – Larry Doyle, pg. 61
“It is at the very least adventurous, and at worst suicidal.” – Buck Henry, pg. 112
“The next time you want to go Into the Wild with a bag of flaxseeds and a dream catcher to tap into your inner Earth Mother, remember we didn’t cure polio with a drum circle and some patchouli oil.” – Al Madrigal, pg. 123
“If you don’t respect the fact that your dog comes from a long line of meat eaters, you will not earn his trust, and in the end you won’t be able to manipulate his will.” – Aasif Mandvi, pg. 128
“Meanwhile, nourish your resentment of her. Store it and mold it into an emotional disposition that will make your new child love you more than its mother.” – Marc Maron, pg. 133
“Plus at around twenty-eight everyone becomes overweight and sluggish, and the most important things become happiness, money, and having (or being) a pretty wife who smiles really well (and doesn’t let on that everything is awful).” – Eugene Mirman, pg. 143
“The better question is, ‘What happens before you die?’ That’s where we run into most of the problems.” – Harold Ramis, pg. 171
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