Cheat, by Bill Burr, Joe DeRosa, and Robert Kelly

“Science is always your friend. Remember that. Whenever you need to combat society’s self-righteous, imposing, and overly judgmental morality – what would Jesus do, protecting the environment, respecting other people, etc. – a strong scientific defense will usually give you a way out. It’s hard to argue with facts. Still, many people will try.” – pg. 8

“We murder, maim, spread disease, and scare the shit out of one another as much as any lion, tiger, or bear ever has.” – pg. 14

“But even if they’re willing to comply, the more people you fold into your scheme, the worse everything gets.” – pg. 45

“Women are just like us. Consciously or unconsciously, they are always looking for something better. Even good girls will look for something better if you give them a reason.” – pg. 53

“You are the one person you should never lie to. You spend enough time bullshitting other people. You’re the home team. Never fuck with the home team.” – pg. 83

“Crazy women are just crazy, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. So stop beating yourself up and trying to figure it out.” – pg. 178